I’ve had several conversations with friends lately that left me feeling a little deflated. It’s sad how most of the life’s answers are found somewhere within the question, but we tend to ignore it. Case in the point the debate centered on making new friends. In a city like London, where life moves at break neck speed the argument goes its harder to make friends because no-one has any time. We’re all so busy curing cancer and riding the world tyrants that we’re incapable to taking 10 minutes out of our day to contact friends or make new ones. As you can guess by the irony in the previous sentence, I don’t buy it.
However I agree it’s harder to make friends in London, where everyone’s attention is being pulled in all different directions, so carving out some valuable ‘social’ time with fellow human beings is rather difficult but not impossible. Instead of complaining about your lack friends, first appreciate the ones you do have. Take out some in your day/week to catch up with your friends, ask them about their family, their career, their job or the cat you saw them post on Instagram. Real life interactions trump throwaway ‘hope you’re doing well’ messages on Facebook. I can count my friends on one hand. This is in part due to me being a serial loner but also has a lot to do with me not making the effort to make new friends. So one day I came to the realisation that I’d be thankful for the friends I have and make every effort to let them know that.
Secondly, if you really want to make new friends, get new hobbies, broaden your interests and seek groups online – meetup.com is great for that. Meet these groups in person, take a friend if your to shy, but it kind of defeats the point of it, which is to take you out of your comfort zone in the hope it will lead to new adventures. Because one thing is for sure, if you continue bemoaning your lack friends and not recognising what you have or what you could potentially have if you made an effort to ‘put yourself out there’ – nothing will change, ever.
Albert Einstein – “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”